Global CIO: Apple CEO Steve Jobs Should Tell Sen. Schumer To Shut UpGlobal CIO: Apple CEO Steve Jobs Should Tell Sen. Schumer To Shut Up

"I write to express concern regarding the reception problem with the Apple iPhone 4. . . . I believe it is incumbent upon Apple to address this flaw in a transparent manner. . . . I am concerned that the nearly two million purchasers of the iPhone 4 may not have complete information about the quality of the product they have purchased. . . . I also encourage Apple to keep its promise to provide free software updates . . . . I further urge Apple to issue a written explanation of the formula it uses . . . . I look forward to Apple’s swift action on this matter . . . ."

Apple has created during the past several years one of the most highly valued and admired global brands in any industry. It's sterling financial results and soaring stock price appropriately reflect that success and bond with consumers, and Apple has done that not by brownnosing for the federal government (hello, GE!) or scamming consumers for billions (hello, AIG and Goldman!), but by delivering superlative products, experiences, business models, services, and brand-promise to millions and millions of individuals across the world.

Yet here we have a career politician—who in his professional life has created nothing of enduring value, who has created zero jobs, and whose "brand" is, along with that of all of his congressional colleagues of both stripes, at an all-time low—lecturing and implicitly threatening the CEO of a phenomenally successful and beloved publicly held company who has broken no law, twisted no statute, and violated no regulation.

But what Steve Jobs has done, in the asymmetrical worldview of Chuck Schumer, is provide a platform for grandstanding, and that's one breach into which our senatorial hero will always rush. So Schumer, in his pathetic attempt to position himself as the friend of the consumer, the protector of the weak and defenseless, and the champion for all causes great and noble, browbeats Jobs with condescending advice and implied threats:

"To address this concern, I ask that Apple provide iPhone 4 customers with a clearly written explanation of the cause of the reception problem and make a public commitment to remedy it free-of-charge. The solutions offered to date by Apple for dealing with the so-called "death grip" malfunction—such as holding the device differently, or buying a cover for it—seem to be insufficient. These proposed solutions would unfairly place the burden on consumers for resolving a problem they were not aware of when they purchased their phones."

This, then, is what our senators now regard as their responsibility. Got a problem with your network? Have Chuck Schumer badger the manufacturer. Don't like your license terms? Get Big Chuck "to address this concern" with heavy-handed sanctimony and threats. Feel like the outsourcing contract you agreed to 18 months ago isn't ideal for today's climate? Ring up Senator Buttinsky and have him advocate on your behalf.

But.

Don't be surprised when Chuck Schumer and his pals decide that instead of doing a handful of one-off IT kneecappings, the real shakedown opportunity in the tech industry is organized, comprehensive, and all-encompassing regulation.

And then we'll see how hard we're laughing when we have to run our data centers on wind power and cow chips.

We'll see how safe and protected we feel when reality-defying CAFE-like energy restrictions become the only force on Earth that can stifle Moore's Law.

And we'll see how righteous we feel when software companies abandon the enterprise business because Chuck Schumer and his cronies outlaw the use of developers based in any country except the U.S.

My friends, this is how it always starts, with the camel's nose under the tent. (Although I have to say that in this case, the more-accurate metaphor would include a horse instead of a camel plus a much larger and dorsal-sided part of the anatomy rather than the nose.) And once it starts, it is just about impossible to stop. Is that really and truly the industry we want to nurture? From the bottom of my heart, I surely hope not.

And that's why I also hope Steve Jobs tells Senator Schumer to shut the hell up, and to focus his time on supporting the U.S. economy instead of threatening one of its most successful, visionary, and customer-centric corporations that provides each and every day more value to the U.S. and global marketplaces than Chuck Schumer and his intrusive ilk could ever possibly fathom.

RECOMMENDED READING: Global CIO: An Open Letter To Apple CEO Steve Jobs Global CIO: Is Steve Jobs Blowing Smoke About Apple TV? Global CIO: Cutting Google And Apple Down To Size Global CIO: What Is Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer's #1 Competitive Statistic? Global CIO: Apple's Steve Jobs Torpedoes Another Stale Business Model Global CIO: Google Derangement Syndrome Erupts Worldwide Global CIO: Will Steve Jobs Ban Google From AppleWorld? Global CIO: iPhone Users Stupid And Steve Jobs Greedy, Says WSJ Global CIO: Why Apple's iPad Will Be A Great Business Device Global CIO: Steve Jobs' Next Billion-Dollar Business: The Enterprise Mobility iCloud Bob Evans is senior VP and director of information's Global CIO unit.

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